Honey Heist RPG (Grant Howitt) [Character Sheets Inside]

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You have two stats: criminal and bear. And really, what more do you need? A one shot roleplaying system by Grant Howitt, Honey Heist puts you in the role of literally just a bear trying to commit a heist at the upcoming HoneyCon. it sounds ridiculous because it is ridiculous, but there's actually a lot more going on. Honey Heist can be described in just a few minutes and creates enough of framework for a story with very little prep.

How is Honey Heist Played?

In Honey Heist, players first roll for their attributes: descriptor, bear type, and role. Players may end up a washed up panda, who is the hacker of the group (and whose skill is to eat bamboo). Alternatively, they may roll up a slick honey badger, who is the muscle of the operation and whose skill is carnage. The ability to role up a varied but detailed character from the outset makes the process of playing Honey Heist a lot easier.

Because Honey Heist is about a heist. The GM will role up the environment and the players will need to figure out that environment to get their honey. They will need to go past security, guards, and traps, and every time they roll, they just roll a d6. They can take two types of action: criminal and bear.

Skill tests are subtly brilliant. When you're committing an action, you roll a d6 and check it against that stat. If you roll your stat or lower, you succeed. But when you succeed, you move a point from the other stat to the stat you just used. So, for instance, if you use your Bear (3) skill to maul someone and you roll a 2, you succeed at Bear. You move your criminal stat down by 1 and your Bear becomes 4.

If you ever reach 6 in criminal, you turn against your party and double cross them. If you ever reach 6 in bear, you "lose it" and rampage, presumaby being taken away by animal control. 

For the GM, Honey Heist is a breeze to run. Rolls are uncontested and much of it involves the players planning together and figuring out what to do. Do they even know where the location of the honey is? How could they find out? 

Honey Heist Documents

Honey Heist is essentially scrawled on a napkin, just like Crab Truckers, so we made our own character sheets which we've made available below:

We also made a pamphlet that can be used to establish a setting:

*Comic Sans MS intentional.

As noted on the character sheet, we "house-ruled" that any bear or bee puns would require a roll of a d20, which was plotted out to a grid of consequences. This is optional, but our consequences were as follows:

1. You suddenly realize you’re missing something important. What is it?

2. You feel yourself becoming a little more criminal and a little less bear.

3. You suddenly remember you forgot your rabies vaccination. Eh. It’ll probably be fine.

4. You find something you forgot about in your pocket. What is it?

5. You feel yourself becoming a little more bear and a little less criminal.

6. You recall an inspirational wisdom your mother used to say… [+bear/+criminal depending]

7. You get the hiccups. You’ll continue to hiccup for the next half hour.

8. You feel an itch and realize that you’ve contracted fleas.

9. You feel dizzy. You need to eat something in the next half hour or you may faint.

10. You feel a little nervous. For the next ten minutes, you have a stammer.

11. You fall into sudden hibernation. For the next five minutes, you’re asleep.

12. You find a tiny mouse on your back. It seems to be a new buddy. [+companion]

13. You spot an old friend walking by. Who is it?

14. You feel strangely lucky right now. [Advantage for next roll]

15. You feel strangely unlucky right now. [Disadvantage for next roll]

16. You feel a little like another person. [Optional reroll]

17. You find a bag full of 1,000 ball bearings.

18. You feel as though you may be delicious.

19. You have tinnitus and can’t hear for the next 10 minutes.

20. You find a small honey flavored packet in your bear pocket.